Understanding Anger: What It Is Telling You
Anger is a normal feeling. It often covers hurt, fear or stress. The goal is not to never feel angry, but to handle anger in a way that keeps you and others safe.
Signs you may notice
- Hot face, fast heartbeat or tight fists
- Yelling or saying things you regret
- Getting irritated by small things
- Frequent conflict with family or coworkers
What can help
- Notice your early warning signs
- Pause and breathe out slowly
- Take space: "I need 10 minutes, and then I will come back"
- Move your body with a walk or stretching
- Ask what is under the anger: hurt, fear or tiredness
- Talk when you are calm using "I" messages, and repair if you hurt someone
When to reach out
If anger leads you to hurt someone, break things, or you fear losing control, talk with a counselor. If someone is in danger, call 911.
Free worksheets
Download free, bilingual worksheets you can use at home or bring to a session.
See free worksheetsFrequently asked questions
What signs should I notice?
Hot face, fast heartbeat or tight fists; Yelling or saying things you regret; Getting irritated by small things; Frequent conflict with family or coworkers.
What can help?
Notice your early warning signs; Pause and breathe out slowly; Take space: "I need 10 minutes, and then I will come back"; Move your body with a walk or stretching; Ask what is under the anger: hurt, fear or tiredness; Talk when you are calm using "I" messages, and repair if you hurt someone.
When should I look for help?
If anger leads you to hurt someone, break things, or you fear losing control, talk with a counselor. If someone is in danger, call 911.
Where can I find help in Spanish in Oregon?
Use the Sanar Network directory to find bilingual and culturally responsive providers in Oregon, or read our resource guide for crisis lines, therapy, addiction help and health insurance by county.
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