Helping Young Children With Big Feelings
Young children do not yet have the words or skills to manage big feelings. A tantrum is a sign that a child is overwhelmed, not that they are bad.
Signs you may notice
- Tantrums, crying or hitting
- Clinging when you leave
- Trouble with changes in routine
- Fear of new places or people
What can help
- Stay calm and get down to your child's level
- Name the feeling: "You are mad because the game ended"
- Set limits kindly: "It is okay to be mad. It is not okay to hit"
- Teach calm-down tools such as smelling the flower and blowing out the candle
- Give warnings before changes and keep routines predictable
- Praise calm behavior when you see it
When to reach out
If tantrums are very frequent or intense, your child hurts themselves or others, or you worry about their development, talk with your pediatrician or a counselor.
Free worksheets
Download free, bilingual worksheets you can use at home or bring to a session.
See free worksheetsFrequently asked questions
What signs should I notice?
Tantrums, crying or hitting; Clinging when you leave; Trouble with changes in routine; Fear of new places or people.
What can help?
Stay calm and get down to your child's level; Name the feeling: "You are mad because the game ended"; Set limits kindly: "It is okay to be mad. It is not okay to hit"; Teach calm-down tools such as smelling the flower and blowing out the candle; Give warnings before changes and keep routines predictable; Praise calm behavior when you see it.
When should I look for help?
If tantrums are very frequent or intense, your child hurts themselves or others, or you worry about their development, talk with your pediatrician or a counselor.
Where can I find help in Spanish in Oregon?
Use the Sanar Network directory to find bilingual and culturally responsive providers in Oregon, or read our resource guide for crisis lines, therapy, addiction help and health insurance by county.
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